


Waiting For The Rain

by ShewasXena



Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 07:22:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15068057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShewasXena/pseuds/ShewasXena
Summary: Joxers attempts to propose marriage to Meg are bungled at every turn.





	1. Chapter 1

Joxer paced back and forth, brow bent in concentration, his hands behind his back. He stopped. “Are you sure you got everything?”

Autolycus, lounged comfortably in a reclining chair by the fire, rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, if it was on the list I definitely got it.” 

“Let’s go through the list again just to make sure,” Joxer said. He pulled the list out of his pocket. 

“Is this really necessary?” 

“Yes!” Joxer exclaimed, “You only get to propose once and-,” he paused, his face turning red, “I want it to be special.” 

Autolycus sighed. “Alright, fine, let’s go through the list...again…”

Joxer brightened and looked down at the list. “Okay! Flour?”

“Check.”

“Honey?”

“Check.”

“Dates?”

“Haven’t had one in awhile.”

Joxer shot Autolycus a glare. 

“...check.”

“Lentils?”

“Check.”

“Cheese?” 

“Yep.”

“And most importantly, wine?”

“Got that too. Since it’s Meg we’re talking about here I got a few bottles of it.”

“Great!” 

“You sure are set on marryin’ this chick huh?” Autolycus said, reaching for a cup of wine sitting nearby. 

Joxer’s eyes glowed in the light of the small fire burning in the fireplace.“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” 

Autolycus shifted in his chair, nursing his drink. “Well, uh, I’m sure you’ll be uh very happy together.” 

“Thank you!” Joxer said with a grin. “Tonight is going to be  _ perfect _ . First, we’ll have a romantic homemade dinner made by yours truly and then we’ll take a late night stroll out of town to the lake to look at the stars. And while she’s staring up at the stars I’ll bring out,” Joxer dug around in his other pocket pulling out a small wooden box, “this star.” He opened the box revealing a small bronze ring. 

“So you decided to go with the no diamond option, eh?”

Joxer blinked, “But-but there is a diamond,” he pointed at the ring, “right there!”

“I don’t see anything.”

Joxer held it closer to Autolycus face. 

The thief leaned forward. “Oh! I see it now. I coulda stolen you a better ring than that you know.” 

“I like this one just fine,” Joxer said defensively pressing the box to his chest.

Autolycus shrugged. “Fine, but if she doesn’t like it, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” 


	2. Chapter 2

Joxer surveyed himself in the mirror, smoothing back his hair. “Lookin’ good.” 

“Headed out Joxer?” Cyrene said, emerging from the Inn’s kitchen.

“Yep! I’ll be back soon with Meg though, thanks for letting me use your kitchen by the way.”

“No problem at all,” Cyrene said with gentle smile, “Are you sure you don’t want me to help you cook dinner? Honey cakes are pretty complicated to make. It took me ages to figure it out.”

Joxer shook his head. “Thanks for the offer but I want to do it myself. It will be more authentic that way.”

“Suit yourself.” Cyrene crossed the room, stood up on her tiptoes and gave Joxer a kiss on the cheek. “Just remember that, while the grand romantic gestures are nice, Meg likes you for you.”

Joxer, his face beet red, rolled his eyes a little. “Yeah, yeah, alright, Miss Cyrene.”

Cyrene smiled, pinched Joxer’s cheek then went back to the kitchen leaving Joxer alone.

He glanced at the door, took a deep breath then stepped outside.

***

The door swung open letting in a gust of the evening air. Joxer motioned Meg with his best “come hither” look.

Meg raised an eyebrow. “Are you okay?”

“Uh, yeah,” Joxer said, wiping the look off his face. “I was just-uh,” he motioned inside the Inn. “I was just going to say, this way m’lady!”

“Who are you calling a lady?” Meg snorted. She stepped inside. “Wow, sure are a lot of candles in here.”

“Yeah, sure are,” Joxer said with a grin as he closed the door behind them. He sidestepped around Meg, hurrying over to a table where glasses of wine were waiting. “Want some wine?”

“Always,” Meg said. She took the cup and drank it in one fluid motion. “Got anymore?”

“I do, in fact.” Joxer poured her another glass. “I, uh, was thinking that I would make us dinner tonight, if that’s alright with you.”

Meg paused mid-drink. “You?”

“Yes, me!”

Meg chuckled, sitting down at the table. “Now this I have to see.” She leaned back in her seat, kicking her feet up.

Joxer drew himself up with a smile. “Well, make yourself comfortable and I’ll get cooking!” With that he disappeared into the kitchen.

.

The first step was boiling water for soup. Joxer, like the genius he was, brought in firewood earlier, so now he need simply strike a flint and BOOM- halfway to lentil soup. He hurried over to the cauldron, produced his flint and struck it into the tinder.

It only took a few moments for the fire to begin devouring the tinder in its path.

“Perfect,” Joxer said under his breath.

He moved back over to the main table. “Alright, bread is easy enough.” Joxer muttered.

Grabbing a generous handful of flour he tossed it onto the table.

The flour, as if it didn’t appreciate being manhandled, exploded into a mushroom cloud coating everything in sight.

Joxer went into a fit of violent coughing, stumbling back towards the cauldron,  when his hand rested down on its rim, his cough turned to a strangled scream. He jumped forward, swearing the name of every god he could think of as he shoved his hand into a nearby pitcher of cool water.

“Everything okay in there?” Meg called from the other room.

“Yep!- -cough-- everything’s just --cough-- fine!”

“Alright…” Meg said after a long pause.  
Taking deep breaths, Joxer moved back over to the table, took another handful of flour then went to work making dough. Soon enough he set five small spheres of dough in the oven to bake.

“How,uh, how’s it going in here?” Meg said, peeking through the doorway.

“Meg, you’re not supposed to be here! Dinner is supposed to be a surprise!”   
Meg threw her hands up. “Alright, alright, sheesh. I’ll need more wine if you’re going to keep me out of the kitchen.”

Joxer shoved a bottle in her hand and swept her out the door. “Dinner will be ready soon!” he called back.

“Yeah, yeah,” Meg replied, “just as long as we eat, I’ll be happy.”

“Oh believe me we wi--” Joxer stopped in his tracks. He sniffed the air. It smelled like something was burning. “Oh, crap the bread!”

He rushed over to the oven, yanked open the metal door to see the bread in various stages of burning. “Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.” He reached into the oven and grabbed one of the loaves that was only sort of on fire only to realize it was too hot to touch.

“Ow, ow, ow!” he jumped backward only to bump directly into the cauldron. He shouted louder this time and watched in horror as the cauldron teetered back and forth then finally down onto the floor, lentils spilling everywhere.

A few minutes later Joxer emerged, shutting the door behind him to stop the smoke from drifting out of the kitchen into the dining hall. He sat down next to Meg putting on his most charming smile. “You know, I’ve been thinking, cooking takes time. Maybe we should go get some falafel instead. It’s much faster.”

Meg frowned, her gaze moving to the kitchen door. “It wouldn’t have anything to do with the smoke would it?”

“What? No, don’t be silly.”

Meg eyed him. “Right…”

Joxer wiped the sweat from his forehead. “You-you like falafel, right?”

Meg shrugged. “I could go for some sure!”   
“Oh, good,” Joxer said with a nod. He took her hand. “C’mon, let’s go get some real food.”

“Look, I’ll eat anything at this point,” Meg said as they walked out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

The evening was warm, a calm breeze blew across the wheat fields outside the city walls making ripples on the distant lake surface. Joxer could see unfriendly clouds on the horizon, he did his best to ignore them. “So I was thinking we could take a stroll over to the lake.” 

Meg, who sat next to him, looked around at the scenery. “It’s pretty nice out here. All this fresh air and whatever, sure why not? But you will have to carry me some of the way.” 

“What? Why?” 

Meg slapped her belly. “Too full to walk the whole way babe!” 

“Alright, fine,” Joxer said with a conceding nod. 

 

The lake was a serene scene with crickets chirping and fireflies darting around great trees that stretched out over the lakes dark surface. Among the many sounds of the forest loud wheezing echoed through the trees as Meg and her steed Joxer arrived at the lake. 

Joxer gently let Meg off his back then collapsed onto the ground, waterfalls of sweat running down his face. “Thhhat walk was lohhhnger than I remembered,” he wheezed.

“You didn’t have to carry me the whole way! It was more of a joke than anything…” 

“I...jhhuuust...wanted to be a...gentleman.” 

“Do you want me to get you some water from the lake?” 

Joxer nodded, his eyes closed. 

Meg went away and came back with a skin full of water. 

Joxer snatched it up, dumped it over his head then fell backward into the grass. After a minute or two he sat back up again. “I’m okay.” 

Meg stared at Joxer for a moment, then sat down next to him, wrapping her arm around his shoulder. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “You’re being extra sweet today. I guessin’ because you’re in trouble or somethin’ like that.” 

“No that’s not why!” Joxer said defensively, “I just wanted to have a real proper date is all, normally we just uhhh, well…” He blushed. 

“I guess that is true.” Meg’s hand slipped from Joxer's shoulder, she wrung her hands together, her eyes fixed on the lake. 

A gentle fog floated across the lakes surface while an army of frogs sang along its shores. A cow mooed at some far off farm. 

Meg rested her head on Joxers shoulder. He relaxed seeing Meg so calm. A smile found its way onto his face. His arm slipped around her waist.

“What’s your favorite color, Meg?” 

She thought for a moment. “Purple. All rich ladies like purple so I figure if I do too, I’ll get rich one day. You know, mindset, long term goals, all that.” 

Joxer nodded thoughtfully. 

“What about you?” 

“I think blue.” 

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” 

“It’s a nice color,” Joxer said, then with some rightful hesitation, “and it’s the color of your eyes.” 

Megs head left his shoulder. She stared daggers into him. “You’ve said some corny stuff but that takes the cake.” There was the faintest hint of a smile on her face. Most would miss it but Joxer didn’t. 

“What can I say your eyes are just icing on the cake for me.” 

Meg gave him a look then laughed. Not a small, amused laugh either, no, this was a laugh that started in the belly and worked it’s way up from there. A loud, “HA!” echoed out across the lake followed by an equally loud snort. 

Joxer watched her laugh. He felt so content, so happy, it was almost intoxicating. His hand slipped into his pocket, searching for the ring box, his fingers made contact with its smooth surface. He pulled it out of his pocket but kept it hidden. 

“You know Meg I--” 

_ CRASH. BOOM.  _

As if out of nowhere, the heavens opened up, rain came pouring down. Despite the tree cover the pair was not spared from the downpour. 

Meg swore and made a run for the nearby treeline with Joxers hand in hers. 

Joxer ran behind her trying desperately not to slip in the mud.

The couple ducked beneath a bush with moderate cover from the sudden torrent. It wasn’t entirely dry, large drops of water found their way down every few seconds but it wasn’t so bad in comparison. 

Joxer plopped down next to Meg who had wrapped her arms around her knees. Her damp bangs were pressed to her forehead. The bottom of her nice white dress was coated in mud. 

“This is just great,” she said

His eyes fell to the ground, guilty. He turned away from Meg, wiping away the tears that had welled up and spilled onto his cheeks. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Megs hand rested on his shoulder. 

He looked back at her. He sniffed. “I can’t do anything right.” 

She frowned. “What do you mean?” 

His gaze fell again. “I-I…” He rested his face in his hands trying not to sob. 

“Hey, hey, Jox, it’s okay.” Meg wrapped Joxer up in a hug only to have Joxer pull away from her.

“You don’t get it,” Joxer started, his voice hoarse, “I wanted to propose to you. I planned it all out, thought everything was perfect--” he sighed, “but I screwed it all up.”

Megs expression was unreadable. 

Joxer, not knowing what to do, kept talking. “I can’t seem to get anything right. I can’t be a good warrior like mom and dad wanted, can’t cook, can’t propose.” He sneered. “I couldn’t save Xena and Gabrielle either.” He watched the rain thunder down onto the lake for a short while. “Meg, you’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. I just wanted you to know that. And you deserve a proposal way better than the one today.” He reached into his pocket and opened up the ring box, he stared at the tiny ring inside. “But I’ve never been a quitter so; will you marry me?” 

His heart beating wildly, he looked over at Meg, she was in tears. 

Meg wasn’t a crier either, he knew that. And yet here she was, eyes red, tears dripping of her cheeks and nose. 

He softened. “Hey, I’m sorry if I said something wrong…”

“Nah, not at all."

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. “But-but the burned food, the rain, I-”

“I don’t care about those things!” Meg exclaimed, “I care about you, dummy. Heck,I’ll eat a dead horse and take a stroll through Hades if it's with you; you know that!” 

Joxer sniffed. “Really?” 

“Yes, really!” She scooted closer to him. “And as for the Xena and Gabrielle thing. That couldn’t be helped. Did ya think you could take on the god themselves on your own?”

“I was going to try.”

Meg sighed. “You know I’ve seen a lot of bad things in this world. I’ve seen a bunch of meanies. So I tried to be nice when I could which wasn’t always often.”   
Joxer gave her a look. 

“Okay, so it was pretty rare. But I tried! Then I met you. You were so sweet, so untouched by all the bad stuff. You’ve made me want to be a better gal...sort of.” This time it was Megs turn to blush. She wrung her hands together. “I think what I’m trying to say is that I would love to be your wifey.” 

Joxer brightened for the first time all evening. Like the sun had come out despite the rain. “Really?” 

“Really, really.” 

Joxer wiped the remaining tears away then kissed Meg on the forehead with all the tenderness in the world. 

“I love you Meg. 

“Love you too, Jox.” 


End file.
